I’m going to keep this review short and sweet. Or, rather, short and not-so-sweet.

Here are my basic thoughts on this book:

-The main character, Jacob, is stupid.

-The premise is interesting. The way it’s carried out is stupid.

-The author is stupid.

-The author’s name is stupid.

For some odd reason, I thought that Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, a book featuring an orphanage who’s orphans are dead (or are they?), would be thrilling. Mysterious. Addictive.

This is not the case. In fact, it is so far from the case that the case is barely visible on this vast horizon of sheer stupidity. Actually, when I finished the book– oh, wait. I didn’t finish it. I could not finish it. Right.

All that you really need to know is that this book sucks. Don’t read it. If you are truly attracted to Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, as I was, by its cool photos, flip through the novel in the store. And then wipe your hands on your pants and run like hell in the other direction. Or just check out what is, in my opinion, the book’s best photo.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children earns 1/5 stars. Quite frankly, I would rate it 0.9, but the book trailer was (deceivingly) terrifyingly amazing, and the premise was good.

I’ll keep you posted,